Saturday, January 26, 2013

Tips for Successful Online Relationships

Finding a person online that intrigues you enough to pursue an online relationship is difficult. Once you have found that person you need to revisit the age old issues of developing that relationship. In many respects, some may say that online relationships are easier then in person relationships. But, in reality it is pretty much the same, just a little bit more removed. Dating tips are essentially the same, but they are a little more subtle then if you are face-to-face.

Safety

Even if the person sounds fantastic online you must be aware that there are some people out there that are being all you want them to be, but with ulterior motives. The very first piece of online dating advise is to not to give the person on the other end any numbers like telephone or PIN numbers regardless of how good they sound.

Be honest with yourself

Relationship advice is always a bit suspect because we are all a bit different. Dating advice from one person to another only reflects that one person giving the dating advice and not necessarily how it applies to you. Always take advice on dating and apply it, with modification, to who you are. Don’t fudge about who you truly are, it will only come back to haunt you later on.

Slow and steady

One dating tip for a quality online relationship is to take it slow. Some might more aptly call this dating tip the restriction of to-much-information (TMI.) You do not need to have an online relationship develop 100 percent in one or two weeks. Let the personal information out slowly. A little mystery will go a long way to building the relationship.

Inflection

This particular piece of online dating advice is one item that requires a bit of work. Voice inflection when online is lost. Inflection is one of those things that we really take for granted. Quite a bit of meaning is lost without it. If you are sarcastic (like me) you can quickly lose somebody on the other end if they don’t know how the words are intended. This is one of the reasons that the LOL and smile face type notations have come about. The problem is, many people find these notations a bit “cutesy.” The online dating advice here is to use words to explain your inflection rather then symbols. So, if sarcastic, simply insert (sarcasm) into the text or use uppercase (OH BOY!!!) for very happy or (OH BOY) for can you believe what he did.

Conversation

Most people say that the art of conversation is dead. In a certain sense this also applies to online dating. Using text abbreviations and assumptions make online relationship building even more impersonal then it already is. This particular piece of online dating advice could be applied to regular relationship building as well. Use simple but descriptive whole worlds to describe what you are discussing. The right word will say quite a bit about who you are. For example: I like kayaking because of the way the paddle slips into the calm water works better then paddling is relaxing. You will come off as a bit more refined rather then just another person online.

Don’t impose

This is perhaps the hardest piece of advice for dating online to get used to. It is so easy to use a word that imposes a thought, belief or need onto another person without even knowing that you are doing it. If there is one thing that will stop an online relationship dead in its tracks it is imposing yourself on another. Once your online relationship progresses a bit you may loosen up a bit with this piece of relationship advice but until then always defer to the other person in the way you phrase a sentence. Make sure you make it known how you feel, but be sure that the wording reflects the other person’s ability to disagree or agree.

Be positive

Nobody likes a “gloomy Gus” when they get online. They really don’t want to be in an ongoing relationship with such a person, unless they happen to be a gloomy Gus. Stay up beat when you are writing with your online friend. Sure, everybody has their down days, and that is fine to share. It shows that you are becoming comfortable with that person. If there starts to be a pattern, however, you may want to assess what is going on with yourself personally or with a friend but there is really no need to share it online. If your assessment leads to a life change for the better…well, that is a great thing to share. Relationship advice or not, good news is a turn on for most.

Be open ended

Just about everybody has heard the phrase “leave them wanting more.” This holds true for online dating. You might think about your daily online conversations or your longer term relationships as a multi-course dinner. Always leave the person salivating for the next course. One of the better ways to do this is ask a question or two that requires a little thought or research. This will let them have something to bring to the table for your next conversation. This would also apply to you. Indicate that you will look into something and let them know what you find the next time you write.

Meeting for the first time

The big piece of online dating advice here is to meet in a busy place. All the online chat in the world won’t substitute for the first meeting and a true assessment. Try to stay relaxed. Listen, but be able to carry the conversation. Stick to areas where you can find help quickly. Call me a bit of a cynic but safety first.

Most importantly be yourself

How many times have you heard that one? Fortunately or not, the statement does ring particularly true for online relationships. A certain amount of “you” will seep into the online relationship whether you like it or not but try for being true to yourself all the time. Faking who you are will doom the relationship, unless you really didn’t want an online relationship in the first place. If you swear quite a bit in life, go for it (just use symbols so as to not offend to much.), if you happen to be one of those folks that dots their “I’s” with a heart go for that as well. Be who you are and the need for online relationship advice will go away fairly fast.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Online Dating Tips - My Personal Guide

There’s a lot of information about online dating – how to choose a dating site; how to write your profile; how to pick a photo,  but there’s not a lot about having the right attitude. Just like any aspect of your life, online dating requires a positive attitude. Assuming the worst makes for rotten profile writing, bad picture selection and negative responses. Instead, make life easy for yourself by taking these positive steps now

1) Sign up
Stop prevaricating and browsing and actually register. It’s fun and it’s rewarding and you’ll be amazed at how easy it is. Think about what you’re like and what you want to get out of the site and then just do it!

2) Be yourself
Pretending to be someone or something you’re not backfires in the end. There are thousands of people registered on dating sites – don’t make the common mistake of assuming that there’s no-one out there who will be interested in you. Just tell it as it is; lead your readers with bits of information that might encourage them to respond and sit back to see what happens.

3) A good photo counts
Every profile needs a good photo to go with it. You don’t have to be a supermodel or a hunk – just a good quality, clear photograph of yourself is all it takes – and remember you can update your profile whenever you like, so stick a new photo up after your holiday or with a new haircut – it really does matter.

4) Take control
Once you get some responses, don’t rush the replies. Take the time to read what’s been written carefully and write good replies. Pick and choose the ones that you want to get back to and ditch the ones you don’t. Taking control is a really positive step and dictating how you reply and how you move forward towards an actual date can give you loads of confidence and optimism.

5) Feel good!
This is a great step you’re taking. In thousands of cases, it’s led to finding a partner for life or a new best friend. Don’t have really high expectations; take things as they come and enjoy every minute.

Use these tips and the other articles in this blog to get out there and make the most of your online dating experience!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Best 5 Dating Tips for Men

First impressions are very important, on that we can all likely agree. That's why relationship specialist and Internet author Wendell K. Cribbs has put together his top five dating tips for men. Guys, if you want to make an excellent first impression, make sure you pay close attention to this list.

  1. Make certain that you arrive on time. Most women feel that punctuality is an important trait in a man, and being late will instantly let your date know that you really don't care enough about her to go out of your way to be there to meet her on time. I can't stress this point enough, women consider your punctuality an indicator of how much you care about them. This advice is foremost among all dating tips for men.
  2. Be ready for a conversation. The second most important among my dating tips for men is to make sure that you're ready to talk. That means doing a little homework before the date. Spend a little time reading up on current events. If you know some of the things your date is interested in, research those topics on the Internet. On your way to meet her, practice discussing a few of the topics you've researched. Remember that she wants you to be interested in her, and being prepared to discuss things that interest her is an excellent way to show it.
  3. Let your date make decisions about your time together. One of my important dating tips for men is to remind them that a woman likes to have input on her activities. While there are some women who desire a "take charge" guy who'll make a lot of decisions in a relationship, until you've spent time with her you won't know if that's who she is. Instead, early on, allow her to have lots of input into your dating plans. It will make her feel important and appreciated, and if you later find that she'd rather have you decide, you can work that out.
  4. During the date, make sure you ask questions and listen carefully to her responses. Most people enjoy talking about themselves. Ask a lot of questions about her and the things that interest her, and that will give her a lot of opportunities to tell you about herself. Asking questions and quietly listening to and thoughtfully responding to her will show her that you're really interested, and is one of my top dating tips for men.
  5. Beware the goodnight kiss. At the end of a date, many men become paralyzed and aren't sure how to proceed. Some women prefer not to kiss on a first date, others are disappointed if you don't at least make an attempt. In order to decide how to handle the goodnight kiss, pay close attention to her body language during your date. If she keeps her distance, then avoid the kiss and go for a friendly hug instead. If she doesn't seem to mind getting closer during your date, then go ahead and move in for the kiss.

Remember, a woman wants to know that a man is interested in her. Follow these top five dating tips for men from relationship specialist Wendell K. Cribbs and you'll let her know without saying a word.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The Dating Revolution

The Information and Technology Revolution has geared the net savvy to tap into internet resources that offers much promise. The ability to connect in an instant and the amount of information you can access at a click on the mouse is amazing. Activities of every kind are now available online and this includes the popular indulgence of online dating. This option offers people of all ages the ability to interact with persons of the opposite sex. This enables the possibility of dating, great relationship building and even marriage.

Online dating sites offer access to a number of prospects that are matched up to your personality via the information you provide while signing in as a member of the site. Once you sign in, you can take your pick and experiment. However, it is important to note that the people you interact with online are complete strangers. You have to use your discretion and never reveal all just because you think the person is perfect for you. For online dating to be a success, you need to follow the rules. If you are careful, the interactions via online dating could culminate in good and lasting relationships via the information shared in the chat rooms.

When your profile is matched, always initially indulge in some very casual enquiries and sum up the person from day 1. If you feel that the profile simply builds on the basics in good time, by the time you share ‘how you spend your weekends’ and ‘your dream holiday destination’, you should be ready to meet. The meeting should always be in a social setting and amidst other friends of both. If you feel drawn to the person for the extended warmth and the conversation online, you can plan another meeting. Look for signs like unexpected and purposeful show of intimacy and the incessant need for another private meeting soon expressed by the person. These are warning signals. A relationship, a good one at that, is always based on compatibility and trust and a great comfort level. The moment you sense that one of you is causing the other to feel stifled, you should reconsider.

Online dating offers people from around the world opportunities to interact with others beyond any geographical constraints. This unveils a whole world of opportunity for anyone including loners and the older singles. If the connectivity is put to good use, it can optimize your chances of getting into a relationship that has the elements of mystery, charm and trust, depending on how far you want to go. The adventure aspect of such a proposition is very alluring and the do’s and don’ts are clear for any level headed individual to see and act by. Online dating sites enable you to upload the information you wish to share and strike contact almost instantaneously in the chat rooms. There are many people who swear by the success ratio of online dating because of the healthy relationships they enjoy. There are a few upsets as well, but if you weigh the pros and cons, you realize that discretion and caution are the two magic mantras of online dating.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The Dating Possibilities

Whether you are actively dating or just getting back into dating, it is a world full of possibilities.  However, most of us are creatures of habit and our patterns keep us in a dating box, searching for and dating the same types over and over.

Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest you by searching the dating website’s membership. Online the dating box is literal, as you have to fill in web forms to find potential dates. Most dating sites give you two ways to search – quick or advanced.  Quick searches are just that – they’re small web forms that let you search based on just a few criteria, like location or age.  Advanced searches are larger web forms that let you search using lots of more specific criteria, like hair color, eye color, education, body type and more.

Just remember that the more criteria that you use for your searches, the fewer results you’ll get.  Searches are unforgiving – they’ll return exactly what you ask for.  We call them “harsh numbers”.  When you choose an age range of, let’s say, 30-39, the person who just turned 40 will not show up in the search results.  If you want to find someone with light brown hair, those great dark brown haired people…like me…will be cast aside.

Also, many sites let you use keywords as part of the search criteria.  This allows a search for words in a member’s profile that match your areas of interest.  You can search specifically for words like “tennis”, “skiing”, or something else.  This lets you be super-specific if you wish.

Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is “your type”.  After all, the “type” that you have gone for in the past might have not worked out.  Think “outside your box”.  What we often think is “our type” is the same person we have been chasing unsuccessfully, through one bad relationship after another, our whole life.  Even if your type was a successful relationship in the past, you cannot repeat a relationship you once had with someone new.  Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe someone different just might be your “type.”

When going over your wants, there is the numbers trap that we need to watch out for as well.  Offline we often use the expression, “numbers don’t lie.”  However the new culture of online dating, numbers often do lie.

For instance the harsh numbers of weight, height and age when in black and white may make a person appear unattractive to you online, who you would find very attractive offline.

When we meet people in person we don’t say,
How old are you?
How much do you weigh?
How tall are you?
How much money do you make?

In person someone may carry his or her height, weight or age off in a very attractive manner.  But when you look at the numbers online you think too old, too heavy, too short, too tall etc and that simply may not be the case.  You have the right to want what you want, but I tell you this so that you can allow yourself to look past the numbers and be more open.

If you’re not finding people that fit, try expanding your horizons.  You are not making any long-term commitment when meeting people, so be open and meet more people and who you fall for might surprise you. So get out of your dating box and don’t restrict yourself.  Allow the incredible opportunity of online dating to work for you.  Contact and meet a lot of people and leave yourself open to the possibilities

Recent Comments